Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Sarai and Colette's Well, That's Dumb

Well, That's Dumb #3:

Ballocks. Men love their ballocks'. They love them so much, they make bigger ones to hang down from trucks and cars. Oh, yes. Have you not seen one yet? Let me share:

They come in all colors and sizes, even gold! Starting at about $27.00 on up, these dangling delights are very popular in the further reaches of the county, but can be seen in the city as well. Because the real thing just isn't good enough.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Well, That's Dumb

Sarai and Colette's Well, That's Dumb #2:

People need to be a little more safety-conscious. Are Colette and I paranoid? Maybe. You got a problem with that? All we're saying is people need to take a few basic precautions to protect themselves and their homes.

For example: People who are lucky enough to be able to afford to purchase large flat-screen televisions. Then they put the big box advertising they just got a big flat-screen tv out on the curb so all the burglars know they have nice stuff. Doesn't have to be a tv. Could be a new computer, a sound system, etc. What they should really do is put a sign on the empty box that says "AVAILABLE INSIDE - I'M A STEAL!" Cut up your cardboard, people.

Do you have something in mind that you think is Dumb? Send me an email! Colette and I will discuss it in our best snarky voices and if we feel it is worthy, we'll post it. :)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Sarai and Colette's "Well, that's dumb"

Welcome to Sarai and Colette's Well, That's Dumb series. It began as a simple conversation about how people do the dumbest things and we just don't get it. We, of course, never do dumb things because we are Better Than That. :)

Dumb thing #1: I had seen this before and it always made me crazy, but then I saw it again on the Fail blog. You know what I'm talking about - those little stick figure stickers people have started putting on the back of their vehicles, which tells the world how many children they have and what ages they are. The one on the Fail blog also had the children's names listed.

Why is this dumb? Ax murderers, people! (You will no doubt hear more about ax murderers in this series in the future. They are my favorite bad guy.) Child molesters, kidnappers, Bad Guys. Why would you want to broadcast such personal information to a bunch of strangers? They probably do the same thing on their Facebook accounts, adding, "We'll be home tonight between Ashley's piano lessons and Connor's baseball practice, so come visit!"


Friday, March 9, 2012

Monday, March 5, 2012

My Dad, the Dog Challenged

This isn't really about my dad. It's about my doofy dog, Logan, and his best friend Asia, and a time a couple of years ago when the air was fresh, the sun was shining, and the gate was open. I blogged about it once before but was chastised for not having any new posts on my blog, and it was the story that came up in conversation, so here goes...

At the time, Dad was working on building a deck onto my back porch. He was carrying things in and out of the back yard and he decided it would be a good idea to leave the gate open so he would not have to lock and unlock it each time he came through. His brain told him it would be all right to leave the gate open, though I'm not sure why. We had already had an incident at Mongo where Dad took the dogs to the camp land, opened the truck door, and they promptly ran off the property, across the street, and into a cow pasture where they tipped a baby cow. Yes, these are the dogs Dad entrusted with an open gate.

It was about an hour or so before Dad realized the dogs were being awfully quiet and took a look around. Strangely enough, they were not there. So he called Mom and Mom called me and I called Kevin and pretty soon we were driving around the south side of town calling the dogs' names. In between calling their names we were calling one another and Animal Care and Control.

I don't remember anymore which dog was found first, but let's say it was Logan. He was found sitting like a good dog and looking very happy on Mom and Dad's front porch, because that's where you go after a morning of running around town dodging cars. How do we know he was dodging cars? Well, because Asia was found at Animal Care and Control. Mom and I dutifully went to pick her up only to find a stinky, smelly, wet dog who apparently had been swimming - or drowning, depending on who you listen to - in Reservoir Park's cement pond.

Here's how I envision it - the two dogs went gaily running out of my back yard, crossed fairfield, crossed Harrison, crossed Calhoun, crossed Clinton and ended up at the park, where Asia immediately jumped in the biggest kiddie pool she'd ever seen, possibly finding it deeper than her kiddie pool at home. Logan, meanwhile, not being one for water, went back across Clinton, across Calhoun, and across Harrison to my Mom and Dad's house, where he waited patiently for someone to come let him in so he could take a well-deserved nap.

The afterward: Dad has been lectured about leaving gates open and trusting idiot dogs. Will it ever happen again on his watch? Undoubtedly. Logan and Asia were also lectured on the perils of running across busy streets and diving into pools with no exit strategy. Will they ever do it again? I shudder just thinking about it.