Annoying Songs Deux

I have had Alanis Morisette's song Ironic rumbling in my head for a few weeks now, and it wants to drive me insane.

I know there was a discussion about this when the song first came out, but I feel the need to rehash it because it's making me crazy.

An old man, turned 98
He won the lottery, and died the next day

Maybe ironic if he'd always talked about winning the lottery and doing things with the money afterward. Otherwise I just don't see the irony of it. In order for there to be irony, you have to create a story to go with it.

It's a black fly in your chardonnay

No. I just think it sucks. Unless the irony is that a black fly is of a lower class than, say, a tsetse fly, and maybe the guy next to you is having a Coke and the tsetse fly landed there instead of your upper crusty chardonnay.

It's a death row pardon, two minutes too late

Okay, that one's kind of ironic.

It's like rain, on your wedding day

Not ironic. Unless maybe you had planned for a rainy wedding day and then decided at the last minute it wouldn't rain and threw away all your raincoats and umbrellas?

It's a free ride, when you've already paid

Maybe ironic. Again, I feel the need to create back-story to make it definite.

It's the good advice, that you just didn't take

Your own dumb fault. Not ironic.

Mr. Play-It-Safe, was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase, and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life, to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought, "Well isn't this nice?"

Mayyyyybe ironic. Did they discuss the safety record of this particular airplane or captain before they got on board?

A traffic jam, when you're already late

How is that ironic? I think it would be more ironic if you rushed to work so you wouldn't be late for your meeting with the boss and the boss was late. Maybe that would be ironic, if you were always running late and your boss was always early.

A "No smoking" sign, on your cigarette break

What kind of establishment do you work at that thinks it's funny to give you a smoking break and then say you can't smoke? Not ironic, just kind of twisted.

It's like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife

Why on earth are there 10,000 spoons? Are you in the spoon museum? If so, why did you expect to find a knife there?

It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife

Not ironic. Majorly bad timing on your part, though.

I think Alanis just has no idea what irony is.

Ask.com has a great example of irony:

* I have no doubt your theatrical performance will receive the praise it so richly deserves.

Such a statement is meant to both flatter and insult the recipient at the same time, because the intended recipient infers the statement to be a compliment, whereas everyone else in the room understands the underlying insult hidden within the statement.

Circumstantial irony - I think what Alanis was going for:

Irony can appear in other forms. It can be circumstantial or accidental. For example:

* An ambulance driver rushes to the scene of an accident, only to run the victim over, because the victim crawled into the middle of the street in the darkness of night.

What do you think? Any ironic moments you can share?