Applicant OMG

So if you saw a position whose title was "Teen Reader," what would you think?

Would you think you had to perhaps be a teenager?

Would you think if you were in your 40s that you might not qualify as a teenager?

Apparently not.

Psych

Have you guys ever seen the tv show psych? It's on USA, which also does Monk, Burn Notice, and The Closer, all of which I enjoy.

psych has two friends, Gus and Shawn. They have been friends since they were kids, and Gus is staid and serious and smart and Shawn is a goofball who pretends to be psychic but actually figures out clues through careful observation of little things other people don't notice.

I checked out a couple of DVDs from the library and have been watching them this evening, and they're just too, too funny.

The first I watched, which I believe is the first episode of season 2, has Tim Curry as a guest star (I love Tim Curry). It's based around a show called American Duo, which is a takeoff on American Idol, with Tim Curry playing the Simon Cowell (or whatever his name is - I don't watch) part of snotty, superior Brit. The whole episode was funny but at the end Shawn and Gus did the song - I was going to describe it, but it will be much funnier if you just watch it yourself. :)

When they find a dead body, they scream like little girls.

I don't know. It's just a fun, funny show and I had to share my joy.

:)

My Friend Lynn

I have to give a shout out to Lynn in England.

Lynn is terribly funny. I adore Lynn's sense of humor and she always makes me laugh. I asked her once if she got tired trying to think of funny things and she assured me it came to her without difficulty. Lynn sent me a piece of her wedding cake (from England), which I still have in its little box on my shelf. Lynn quit her job, sold her flat, and traveled around the world, and not to places like Paris or Rome, but to places like Siberia and hotels with no running water and giant cockroaches as roomies.

She also went with Edith and I while she was on her America trek to Shipshewana to choose material to make an outfit to create a Pimpin Ken and Ho-Bag Barbie for my friend Jan in California, who collects Barbies and needed something like that in her collection. Please take a moment to ponder - three women, surrounded by the Amish, choosing zebra-striped material and saying things like, "Pimpin Ken needs a jacket made out of this." (For the curious, I also used yellow food coloring to make Barbie's hair more bottle blonde, gave her heavy eyeshadow and big earrings, and Edith sewed her an appropriate ho-bag mini skirt ensemble. I want credit, because it was my idea, and it was brilliant and very funny. Can you also please imagine Jan opening this present in front of her mom on Christmas day. Thank you, thank you.)

Lynn sent me 6 bags of potato chips (I believe the Brits call them "crisps"). The back story is Walkers (I think the same company who makes the famous shortbread cookies, if you're into shortbread) is having a contest to see which new flavor will win, or some such thing. The 6 flavors are: fish & chips; onion bhaji; builder's breakfast (bangers and mash, bacon, eggs); chilli & chocolate; and my personal favorite (in name only), Cajun Squirrel. I know that's only 5, but the box is over on the dining room table and I am allllll the way over heeeeerrrrre on the couch.

Not only did Lynn send me these frightening-sounding chips, but she protected them with diapers, which she assured me are CLEAN. God bless her.

And she sent candy to cover the taste of the chips. Lynn thinks of everything.

You have to love a person who does things like this. I mean, what else can you do?

So the next time I have guests over, I am going to open the chips and we're going to have a taste test and send Lynn our opinions. For those who, like me, are afraid to taste the chips, we will at least smell them, but I have a feeling my friends are more daring than I, especially after they've had a few drinks.

I'm very excited about the process. :) I think it will be most fun.

And I think Lynn is awesome. :)

On the application flip side...

So TODAY I received in the mail a cover letter... and resume... and references... and about 100 pages of supporting documentation. For one person. For one job. The stack is too think for a paperclip. It's too thick for a small clip. I just left it in its giant envelope. It took nearly $5.00 of postage.

I don't make these things up.

Addition to last post

And right now I am staring at an e-mailed cover letter and resume. The email and resdume have one name on them and the cover letter has someone else's name on it. I'm going to send them a response asking which name I should use.

Pet Peeves

The commercial for Chemistry.com or Matchmaker.com or whatever it is where the woman says, "I'm just a goof, looking for my ball." I DETEST this commercial.

And then I have some rants about people who turn in applications for jobs and do not fill out the application completely. Hello? Do you want a job or not?

Don't send me an email that says:

"Hi my name is ****** and I am interested in this position. My phone number is 260-***-****."

Okay. Did you have a question? Have you filled out an application? Do you think your first name and phone number are enough to make me go, "WOW! I've gotta hire this person RIGHT FRICKIN NOW!" I cannot tell you how many emails like this one I have received in the past several months. It's a new trend. They don't even ask a question, like what are the hours, how do I apply, yada yada yada. Just a name and phone number. One guy I responded to, saying, "Have you completed an application?" His complete e-mail response back to me: "No." OHMIGOD, you're BRILLIANT! Get in here and work for me RIGHT NOW!

Then there was the guy who filled out an application where I could not read his handwriting to make out his street address, and I could not look up his zip code, which he neglected to put on the application, because I could not read his street address, and he did not include a phone number, so I could not call him to find out what his address was. The rest of the application was pretty similar. Lots of blank spaces. Did you want a job? Did you want a chance at a job? Do you really think that is going to compete with the other 100 applicants who applied for the same position and filled out their applications completely?

Then there is the one I just had that annoyed me over the edge so I had to vent. :) This person took the time to print out, on nice paper, and hand-deliver a resumé, with no address on it. AUGH! Are you hiding from the government? Are you in the Witness Protection Program? What is wrong with these people????????

I also love the people who come in and take the skills test and cheat. Right in front of me. Um, hello? Do I really have to tell you not to do that? I never do. They are usually the ones who miss half the test anyway.

And the one who comes in and asks me a question and then his cell phone rings and he answers it. He does not ask me to wait a moment. He does not hold up a "just a sec" finger. He does not ignore the call or turn off his cell phone. No. He has a conversation. It's obviously very important. It can't wait. I was in the middle of answering his question, but, hey, no biggie.

My favorite is still the guy who put on his application under Volunteer Experience, "Death and dismemberment cleanup."

Here are a few other gems:

Signature to a cover letter:

take care.
tenderly
jane doe


Have you ever been convicted of or pleaded guilty to a felony or misdemeanor, other than a minor traffic violation?

1. “Mistor minor offence.”

2. “It was my first and only offense. …Minor entering a Tavoron.”

3. “Wrong place at the wong time, and I’m human I’m not perfect, and I am a much more better man.”

4. “Urinating in public because I didn't want to use a toilet nearby full of large, aggressive sissy boys.”


I do not make this stuff up.

My Funny Mom

My Mom is a stitch. The first picture has been cleaned up a little. The second picture has an unexpected guest. Click on the pic for a close up.