Okay. I’m back to complain about stupid commercials. The first is that stupid, insulting, $%*#$%^(@* FreeCreditReport.com commercial where the guy sings that if he’d only checked his girlfriend’s credit report before getting married, he’d be a happy bachelor with a dog instead of living in her parents’ basement. Every time I see this commercial I think, “WHERE IS YOUR DAMN MONEY, YOU LOSER!!!!!!!!!!!” So his girlfriend’s bad credit means HE can’t get a loan for a mortgage? They can’t live in an apartment on HIS salary? She made him get rid of his DOG? He should thank his lucky stars her parents are kind and generous enough to let a slob like him share their living space! I HATE THIS COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!! And instead of going out and getting a job, while SHE’S IN THE BACKGROUND DOING LAUNDRY, he’s standing there WHINING about how awful he has it. As Kevin said to me today, maybe if he wasn’t hanging out with his chump friends all the time...
The other commercial that is currently getting on my nerves is that stupid Charmin commercial with the cartoon bears. Charmin has come out with a more durable toilet paper. Because apparently bears in the woods get toilet tissue stuck all over their bums. And apparently people must get toilet tissue stuck all over their bums, too, or else Charmin wouldn’t be coming out with a product like this. So I have to ask myself – who are these people who don’t know how to wipe themselves??? How do they get through life? Why don’t they shave their tushies? I find it all very disturbing.
I find the cartoon bears using Charmin in the woods very disturbing too. Why are these bears using toilet paper? Do they do their shopping online? Perhaps with credit cards they’ve kept from victims they’ve eaten? Is that why they NEED toilet paper? Do they all hide behind trees to do their business? Would I know I was in bear territory when I came across the pile of poo covered in tattered toilet tissue? Is this just another example of urban sprawl invading pristine wilderness?
I’m going to go read a book. There will be no commercial interruptions.