Sunday, September 2, 2012

BIC pens... for Her

Okay, so I had seen a couple of these reviews on fail blogs but wasn't sure if it was made up or not. I went to Amazon's website tonight and looked for BIC pens for Her and started looking at the reviews. OMG! These are freaking hilarious!

FINALLY! August 24, 2012
By Tracy Hamilton
Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.

Why no applicator?, September 1, 2012
By L. Frank
These are kind of thin, but perfect for light days. My only complaint is that there is no applicator which makes them slightly harder to use. I would say I'm sticking with Playtex but these colors are so vibrant that my girly glitter senses can't resist them! Also they are affordable so I can use part of my small, weekly allowance from my husband to buy them when he lets me out of the house every Monday!

Packaging is unclear., August 31, 2012
By Sara
At long last, I was overjoyed to see a pen made just for me! I actually never learned to write because regular pens just seemed too complicated and difficult to use--it seemed a better use of my time to continue spending my evenings baking dozens of cupcakes frosted in pink glitter and practicing walking and breathing at the same time. So you can imagine my joy when I found this pen, made specifically to suit the charming physical frailty and diminished mental capacity that are the hallmarks of my sex. However, the packaging is quite unclear and I can't figure out how this pen should be used. Can I grasp it in my dainty fingers, or do I actually have to hold it in my vagina?

Confused, August 31, 2012
By J. Kafchinski
As a guy I like this pen for 28 letters, but then it puts in a period and I can't touch it for a week.

Men, Do Not Use These!!, August 31, 2012
By Weebs
For some reason I got the notion that it would be OK for me, a man, to try to use one of these pens. BIG MISTAKE! About an hour after using one of these pens to write a list for the hardware store, my manhood fell off. IT FELL RIGHT OFF! Gentlemen, consider yourselves warned. I still gave it two stars though. The list I wrote is awesome.

OK, but my husband STILL steals them, August 31, 2012
By J.B.H.
These pens are OK but just like Bic's razors for her, my husband STILL steals them. I'll be more excited about Bic for Her once the product automatically drops out of the man's hands if he dares to pick it up.

So tempted... but what of society?, August 31, 2012
By R. Moses
I, a simple man of no specific writing implement, gaze upon these wonders of feminine penwomanship with nothing short of a turgid, wanton desire. Not so much a siren's call wailing from the figurative rocks of my local drug store's stationery section... more a come-hither whisper, tickling at my most intimate bits. I hear it now... "scribble scribble scribble." It mocks me, it caresses me, and - in it's way - it loves me. "But no!" I scream, so needing to resist the lure of these venomous quills, yet daring not to let the world know of my secret lust. So I scream in silence, still daring against all decency and decorum to glance helplessly at those luminous inky shafts, knowing full well I haven't the strength to resist their allure forever. I am resigned. I know now, this is who I am, and who I have always been. I am... BIC-curious.

Ermagerd, August 31, 2012
By Devon M. Wyatt "Eclectic Purchaser from Amazon"
Ermagerd. Pernz with glitterz!

ribbed-for-my-enjoyment?, August 30, 2012
By - "Seeker of Truth"
Meh. Let me know when Bic introduces the ribbed-for-her-enjoyment version. Maybe then, I might consider literacy. Call me maybe, okay.

The new Crack of Ink Pens, August 30, 2012
By smuxlow
Wow!! These pens are like crack! Once you use them, you can never go back!! I can't believe I've lived thus far without them! Even though they are more expensive then other colored ink pens, they are so worth the price. Especially since men can't use them. No more stinky p e n I s hands on my Bic!

Sexy B****, August 30, 2012
By Boobie Fallopia
Finally, a pen for me. However, I have to start off with a couple of complaints. Numero uno: the pen is too phallic. It's like hello, can you be any more sexist by making a pen that's shaped like a disco stick? BIC needs to come out with a pen that is at least shaped like a V. Numero two: I love the colors, but I don't like just "black" or "blue." I need descriptive adjectives that don't have anything to do with the actual product like "Midnight black" or "Obsidian blue." I'd also settle for "Pomegranate." Or "Mango" OMG MANGOS ARE SO GOOD. I love putting mangos in my mouth. Numero thr33: WHERE ARE ALL THE ACCESSORIES? I want to dress my pen in glitter and bedazzling stickers. Otherwise, it's not really for her. It's for LOSERS. But the pen is like super cool because even though it writes like a regular pen that everyone else has and I can't see any differences between this one and the bajillion of other pens in this male dominated market, the Her really spoke to my pink heart. It's like we finally matter and someone finally decided to take notice of our hair that we got trimmed a quarter inch off of like 2 weeks ago and how we spent 3 hours window shopping and trying on black dresses so we could all look the same when we go clubbing, and said, "Hey, women are like men, but prettier, so I'm going to make a pen for HER. Thanks, BIC. You're a sexy bitch.

just a first step, August 30, 2012
By ball pen for her
I, as a woman, heavyly reject a "Cristal for her ball pen"! Is it really a problem to create an ovary pen?

For her!?, August 29, 2012
By Kelly A. Kallaher
Tremendously unsatisfied. Bic just doesn't do it for me. Maybe it's a size issue. If you're going to make a product "for her" it should at least vibrate.

There are 537 reviews, if you want to take a gander.

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